I am a mean person, and Eva Mendes is a moron.

Do you ever encounter those people in your life whom you have no good reason to dislike, and you know that by disliking them you are automatically a bitch? You wish you could fire them from your consciousness, since they seem to take up residence with no regard to your mental health, but since they're not actually your friend, and (again)you have no sane/mature/emotionally viable reason to dislike them, you're kind of stuck with them?

FUCK. I feel like a mean, petty, heinous, bee-ya-HOTCH, but I sometimes fantasize about taking a baseball bat to this person's car and/or face. I've also noticed that I have a blackly comic preference for the baseball-bat-to-the-windshield fantasy. I've never once in my life committed violence against another person, with the exception of sophomore year of college when I threw a shoe at my (ahem) boyfriend's head. (For the record, of course he deserved it!) I'm not an angry or vicious person, and fortunately would never dream of actually using a baseball bat on anyone. I would perhaps instead simply slash his or her tires.

ANY-crap, in the Celebrity BS category, today I read from WENN news (always a totally reliable source, because it's on the internets, y'all!) that Eva Mendes is "totally proud" of her nekkid ads for Calvin Klein, because, like, it's totally art and stuff! The ads were too racy to air in the US or on the internet, but have been run in the UK and other European countries. My question is this: What, exactly, are you "proud" of, Eva? Like you're such a brave and cutting-edge artist and it took real courage to take your clothes off for millions of dollars and be shown completely airbrushed over in a countries where you do not live? Or are you proud of contributing to the glut and gross oversaturation of using women as sex objects to sell shit? For the record, shut the fuck up. And, because I'm in an extra-special cranky mood, you are required to watch this: (you'll love it)



Full disclosure: Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty is a nice idea, but I have to point out the Dove is owned by Unilever, a gigantic company that sells LOTS of products that DO NOT serve women. Dove is not a non-profit division of Unilever; therefore, the Campaign For Real Beauty is still a marketing tool to sell more products, albeit one that appeals to an increasing demand for healthy media images for young girls. But take it as a cool video! Because I'm just being super-misanthropic today! In fact, you could call me Miss Anthropic! YOINK!