With nuk, and sans nuk.


Ivy rediscovered her nuk this morning. YAY! She's bounce-bouncing in her ExerSaucer and nom nom nommming on it, while watching Sesame Street. I'm getting lots of smiles. Hey...Snuffleupagus is on! Rock. I love Snuffy. Do people know he's not imaginary now? Uh oh...Snuffy accidently sold Radar, Big Bird's bear, to The Count...heartbreaking!
Yesterday was a Monday, in every sense of the word. I had wine the night before while watching le Oscars, and...

Oh no. The Count gave away Radar to a monster. This is not good.

Anyway, me+alcohol=next day depression. I know this. I mean, I thought I did. I didn't think about it Sunday night. Yesterday I found myself paralyzed with fear/emptiness, trying to care for a cantankerous baby with a cold and staring down a house that looked like a tornado had hit it. The poor little girl had been up since five, so she was exhausted but wouldn't sleep. I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. It was one of those days where you feel like you're drowning in your life, and are powerless to affect any change in it. This isn't true, obviously. It was a hard day and everyone has them, and it's ok. When I have hard days, one of the worst things I tend to do it beat myself up endlessly for it, making it ten times worse than it has to be. I was worn out by my sick kid, therefore I'm a terrible mother. I didn't clean anything, therefore everyone who lives with me will hate me because I'm obviously lazy. I didn't do schoolwork, so I'm never going finish my degree. I felt alone yesterday, therefore GOD HAS FORSAKEN ME! (have you taken out the violins yet?) Those are some pretty harsh standards to live under...if I was that hard on someone I love, I wouldn't be a very good friend. But I treat myself like that all the time.

Ivy is dangling her bunny on the ground and just discovered what happens when she lets go...no more bunny. :( Mama can fix that, at least.

Oh, Big Bird got Radar back. Whew.